I don’t feel entirely comfortable behind the Author title. I can accept it somewhat seeing that, in some capacity or another, we are all authors.

On December 19th, 2004, I celebrated the ten year anniversary of my MS diagnosis. To most, that hardly seemed cause for celebration; but when I look back at what I have overcome, I will indeed celebrate.

Over the years, some have called me an inspiration—another title I don’t feel comfortable behind. I guess I can understand why some would see me that way, but I assure you, any qualities I possess that might qualify me as such were themselves inspired. There were so many events that gave me a reason to try a little harder. One in particular changed me forever and I can still hear the voice of a homeless man shouting out to me, “I’m sorry to see you that way.”

To those of you who think you, “could never be so strong,” I have to ask, do you really believe that I could? It’s all relative.

—Marcella Cross


  1. Henry Jakosalem Jr.
    Oct 19, 2010

    Thank you for the words of wisdoms… im posting every encouragements in my Facebook account.. and many are blessed ! :-) God bless you !!! I hope u can send me daily words of encouragements…

  2. chinenye uduma
    Nov 6, 2010

    You are blessed beyond measures,we love you

  3. Undisclosed
    Nov 10, 2010

    I came all the way into the dining room to write you this. That’s a big deal because, as the mother of an infant that doesn’t sleep through the night, I should be clinging to these peaceful moments. I was thinking of you and I was literally stirred from my sleep.

    I was thinking about our childhoods. You were always so ominous to me. You knew things I didn’t. You had talents I wanted. Not many people can say their eldest sibling “paved the way” like I can attest you have. You took many spankings on my behalf. You studied the family vocation. And then, when you could no longer walk, you painfully wheeled your way over the toughest of paths. I must admit, the places you have been to emotionally are far deeper than I can appreciate. It’s clear when you look at my life’s work and compare it to yours. My offerings are so practical. Yours so beautiful.

    When life took away your ability to do much else you got down to the really important stuff. You explored your self. You explored your revelations on paper. If you had never gotten sick I would probably be able to relate to you much more. But then the world might have been robbed your poetry. That’s not to say your illness is worth the words it has produced. Rather, your deepest beauties have at least used that terrible burden to be bigger than you. Your words pry you from your chair.

    I admire the women in my life. Most have struggled against their fates to achieve some meaning. But unlike any other before, you have held the pen in hand in spite of how little control you have had over the plot. You have never given up your power as the author of your life, no matter how you may have begrudged the tale.

    I am sorry for being unable to meet you on the emotional plain you inhabit. I may get closer. I hope I do. You were always elusive to me so it makes sense that I trail you even now. I guess I want you to know I recognize you’re a pioneer. It must be scary to be there. I’m so sorry I cannot lighten your burden. But as you continue to pave the toughest roads ahead, I continue to love you.

    You have shed enough tears in your life and I hate that this might bring you more. But I have to tell you how important you are. Not just to me. You pave the road for more than just your sisters. You face the fears of the unknown and you produce something beautiful. It’s confounding.

    My life is so practical it’s practically useless. You have actually created beauty from uselessness. You will always be my ambassador.

  4. Marcella
    Nov 10, 2010

    You did of course make me cry. It’s not everyday that a person is honoured as I have been here. You’ve stood behind me many times, yes, but you don’t trail and you are far from useless. I love you, too, Jule, but please don’t hope for an emotional battle! Tell me I’ve taught you that much!

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